Let's Talk Turkey

Well, I am not keeping up on my blog as I intended. I was on vacation for a week and a half and I was sick in that time too. It seems like when I take a vacation I really take a vacation from everything. So, this is a picture of me at my December 29th meeting. Don't I look jolly? Well, I won the turkey contest. WooHoo! With the Christmas season just passing and let me tell you, I got extremely sick on Christmas day and it has wreaked havoc on my life.
December 29th my last week to get at least three feathers, you remember, the water, the journaling, the call of encouragement plus any pounds lost would earn me more feathers. I didn't get one single feather on this last day. I didn't do anything this past week except gain weight and boy was it a big one! 5 whopping pounds. The two goals I set for myself, to lose my 10% body weight and since I knew that was not going to happen changing my goal to have lost 25 pounds by the year's end. I failed there too. I only lost 24 pounds. (Sniff, Sniff)
However, if we are talking turkey, I won! I will be getting a fabulous gift basket and it will be presented to me at next week's meeting, but wait, I still need to hang on to it for another week, we have an open house scheduled for January 11. Any perspective new comer needs to see what kind of fabulous prizes you can win during our hopefully many contests for the year 2009.
There will be a new contest starting next week and details with be forthcoming but it has something to do with the tax season and claiming deductions, but more on that later.
So until next time, I hope to lose nothing but weight, and gain nothing but knowledge.

Twas the week before Christmas

Here it is Christmas quickly approaching. What am I to say, what am I to do?
Lucky for me, I have taken a week's vacation so I can properly get ready for Christmas, but really is it luck? While I am enjoying the time off from work, I am not enjoying the unstructured life I am living.
When it comes to dieting, I need structure, I do exceptionally well while I am work. I know when to have breakfast, when to have lunch, when to work out, etc, etc. Being on vacation means I don't have the structure that I am so used too. I sleep in, I am not eating the way I should be eating.
However, all is not lost here. I am exercising faithfully, I am journaling faithfully, and I am getting all my water in. I am also not going over my daily food allotment.
With all the hustle and bustle of Christmas, the majority of the diet group wanted to cancel the meeting for our group, but did say we could come in for weigh in, which let's face it, isn't that the most important part of the meetings?
We met later than usual so I could go to the gym and workout before getting weighed.
Well, Merry Christmas to me!!! I lost 5 1/2 pounds this week.
My goal was to lose 25 pounds by the end of the year. That is 25 pounds in thirteen weeks!
I made it!!!!!! I have lost 28 1/2 pounds total and I still have one more week to go.
So, I am going to end it for now, Merry Christmas to all!
Until next week I hope to gain nothing but knowledge and lose nothing but weight.

Types of friends

This past week has been a very disappointing week for me. I followed my diet fairly well, and went back to exercising this weekend. When I say that I followed my diet fairly well, I didn't go over my points allotted to me. My weigh in last night was just plain horrible for me. I jumped on the scales and I had to be weighed using the special clamp again. I was devastated, I had thought I was finally past all of that. The weird thing is that there is a problem with the scales because with the clamp it was weighing me as if I didn't need the clamp but I got weighed two different times and the weight was the same each time. With that in mind, I had only gained 1 3/4 pounds. But before I weighed in I was ready to quit, I was not going to follow program and I was going to totally give up.
This is when it is hard to follow, I had done what I was supposed to do and gained. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I want so much to be able to master this and get the weight off. For crying out loud as heavy as I am I should be losing lots of weight, but after 10 weeks, I have only lost 23 pounds.
I am back to exercising again. Which brings me to my topic title, the types of friends(or acquaintances) that I have. I have three types of friends, the well wishers (they also fall under the category of the saboteur's); the over achievers; and the support group.
Haven't we all met people that fall under the well wisher category, they say the right things but I feel they really are just standing back waiting to see me fail again. They are also the people who tell me what works for them and this is what I should try. I know they don't believe that I am going to succeed, because I never have before so why should I be able to now?
The next group are the over achievers. These people (and there are only two of them) truly care for me and want to see me succeed but they go one step farther than being compassionate and listening; to going after me to exercise or they tell me things I don't want to hear but I need to hear. I love the fact that they want to see me succeed and try and help me along the path but when they are there pushing me, I am not happy about it and have even told one person so, but that doesn't stop her. She knows that in the end I will be better off for it, and in the end these are the two the I will remember the most as helping me.
The other group are my friends and supporters, they are the ones who read my blog and send me the encouragement I need to go on. I could not get through this with out this group. My family and best friends are in this group and I love them dearly. They are helping me in many ways and they are here for me in a different way than the over achievers.
I have to say that I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful support network, not many people can say that.
So beginning this 11th week, I will lean on my support group to help me through this.
Until next time, I hope to gain nothing but knowledge and lose nothing but weight.

Why Gastric Bypass?

With all the joys of being overweight, there are many issues a girl of my size has to deal with.

I have been on my diet for 57 days. That should be long enough to break my bad habits, and it is slowly working.

Issue Number 1- I was at the doctor's this past week, and I was thrilled to be able to show her that I had lost 24 1/2 pounds, but she wasn't as thrilled as I was.

I am still having some major complications in my life with this infection and it is starting to become a life or death situation. That is the joyous news my doctor passed on to me.

She didn't say, hey it is great that you've lost this much weight, keep it up...No, she said you know I think you need to consult a weight clinic about having gastric bypass surgery.

Wow! I used to dream about the day that I could have the surgery, thinking this is the easy way out, but no the doctors always told me just to follow a healthy diet. Now, she suggests that I may want to do this and all of a sudden I am confused.

What does a person do when faced with this situation? No, I didn't eat more, I started doing research. Here is what I have come up with.

Gastric bypass surgery alters your stomach permanently. Once you have this done, there is no reversing it. The complications one gets from this is so frequent that many people have to have recurring surgeries to fix problems from the surgery. My insurance company at this point will not pay for my surgery, but even if I could get it approved they will not pay for any complications arising from gastric bypass. 1 in 200 people die from complications and typically within the first 30 days. You lose up to 75% of your body weight within the first year, but put 50 % of it back on within 5 years.

The fact that I have a nearly untreatable infection doesn't make me want to jump on the band wagon any quicker to go through with this. Losing weight, while it may improve my overall health will not improve the infection situation, it may actually make it worse because of all the excess skin I would have hanging, which my insurance company will not pay for.

I think I have made my decision. I want to keep trying to get the weight off on my own. I am off to a good start and I am starting on my 10th week and I am still going strong!

Weigh in this week was a tad disappointing, I only lost 1/4 of a pound but I didn't gain so I have to look for the little victories.

I am headed back to the gym this week to resume my workouts, I am hoping for a better week this week.

So until next time, I hope to lose nothing but weight and gain nothing but knowledge!

Dieting with obstacles

This past week was Thanksgiving. From the look of this picture it is not far from what was being served at my Thanksgiving dinner. That was one obstacle, but wait let me back up to the many other obstacles that I had to face this past week.

For some strange reason, I am a very sickly person. Hmmm, I wonder if it has anything to do with being so overweight? Well, it probably does, but doggone it, I am trying to take the weight off and get healthier. Easier said than done.

I have been battling serious infections that usually require outpatient surgery for quite awhile now, probably close to two years. Well, this was another one of those times. I desperately needed to be seen by a doctor, but had waited so long that I ended up being admitted to the hospital because the pain was unbearable and the infection required IV antibiotics. Well, while this sounds like problem solved I got violently sick from the antibiotics that I could barely keep anything down on Wednesday.

Thursday was Thanksgiving and while I felt like eating, there was the obstacle of the meal. I did fine with that, I ate what I wanted but I had saved my weekly points for just that purpose.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday, well need I say more? It's the weekend and I always seem to overeat on the weekends and this one was no different.

Oh, one more obstacle to contend with this past week as well. I am not allowed to go to the gym. So, you may be asking yourself what is the big deal, just walk at the mall or ride a bike at the gym, or do exercise videos. Well my size does not allow me to do these things comfortably, nor does the infection. I am too sick right now to even want to exercise. The funny thing is that I miss it. I loved being able to go to my water classes and just being able to go to the pool and "play" around.

It seems that with so many obstacles against me, I would give up like I always seem to do. I have noticed that I can usually make it with my diets for about 25-30 pounds and then I give up.

So in a sense that is another obstacle.

Now that I have complained about all the reasons why I can't do it, I need to own up to it. I need to quit whining about it and do it.

It is still incredibly hard changing the way my mind works, learning new behaviors and attitudes but it will happen, I know that it will.

I am at the point where I am losing enough weight that people are starting to notice, I can't see it though. Losing this much weight seems like a huge accomplishment for someone who doesn't have much to lose but for people of my size, we all know that this is like a skinny person losing five pounds, it is just not a big deal yet. I am not knocking what I have done, it is not an easy task, but I just can't see it yet.

I got on the scales this week, feeling humiliated, but nonetheless needing to get weighed and I am happy to say that I lost 2 1/2 pounds this week.

This is good for getting me back on track, so until next time, I hope to lose nothing but weight and gain nothing but knowledge.

When everything you do seems right

This week has been an okay week for me. I haven't had too many highs or too many lows. I suppose that should be a good thing.

We just started a contest last week which runs for six weeks. We have a turkey that we get to add feathers to. If you drink all your 6-8 glasses of water everyday you get a feather. If you fill out your food diary everyday you get a feather. If you call at least one person in your TOPS group you get a feather, and lastly you get a feather for every pound you lose.

So, I am excited about this, I have no problem getting in my water, keeping my food diary and calling a fellow member to give them encouragement. What got me down is that I gained weight this week.

I am not upset by this, I was actually expecting it, I am seeing a trend in my weight loss. I seem to lose a lot of weight in one week and then I either gain, or lose very little the next week.

I guess this is a big attitude change for me. I am not upset by the gain. I didn't eat any differently last night than I would have if I had a loss.

It seems to me that I am making small achievements. I am on my 43rd day of my new lifestyle change (it is not a diet), and though I am far from having things under control, I am making noticeable progress.

Just like two weeks ago when I had done everything right and only lost 3/4 of a pound and I wanted to pig out, I resisted and the results last week were phenomenal. This week, I gained 3/4 of a pound and I didn't even have the urge to pig out.

I was thinking this morning before posting, why is it that when I lost 3/4 of a pound I was so disappointed that I had only lost that much, but this week I gained 3/4 of a pound and I am fine with it. That is some seriously messed up thoughts there.

I will learn from that too.

Well, this is Thanksgiving week, and I will be surrounded by family and good food, but I plan on making guilt free choices that day, and even if I mess up a little that is okay too, because I am certain that eating this year is healthier for me then it was last year.

Until next time, I hope to lose nothing but weight and gain nothing but knowledge.

This was more than I expected

Well I sure did not expect this. Last week, I put a challenge out to all the members at my TOPS group and everyone did it successfully excepts for me. Can you believe it? I put the challenge out there and I couldn't even follow through with my own challenge. I had decided that this week, I would not do any emotional eating. I had done well all week until Saturday evening.
By Saturday evening I had gotten in three 1 hour sessions at the gym for the week, I had drank all my water everyday and I had not gone over my weekly points at all. I also had not given into emotional eating all week. That all changed on Saturday evening. I had a really busy active day on Saturday and then that evening when my son got home from work, he was hungry and I decided to order subs for him, and I also ordered one for myself. Here is my thinking behind this. I was a little hungry, I still had quite a few calories left to eat and I still had like three fruits and veggies and 1 milk to get in. My best intentions were to just get in my quota of food and then be done, but NO I had a coupon where it was cheaper to buy three subs. (I think I saved like a dollar) , I ordered the sub and ate the whole thing. If I had stopped there then I would have been okay, but I ate a half of a big bag of Cheddar Chex Mix.
Sunday did not fair much better for me but the only difference is I stayed in my calorie range, but I still feel I made poor food choices.
I broke my one challenge for myself because I ate out of sheer boredom.
So, now I am once again up to Monday realizing I have to face the weigh in; I am not looking forward to it. I am sure that I have gained weight this week. How do I know this? Because that is one other thing that triggered off my bad eating on Saturday. I weighed myself on bath scales at home and had actually gained a pound.
Since I had been working out for two weeks now, and having only one bad day out of that previous time, keep in mind that this week, I had no bad food days yet, and I had only lost 3/4 of a pound the previous week, I could not understand why I wasn't losing this week.
Apparently, my bathroom scales are off because, (and here is the reason that this is more than I expected) I lost 10 1/4 pounds this week. I was so in shock that I had to recheck the figures twice. I am still being weighed using that special clamp. Well, the scales do not lie (unless you are using the cheap bathroom scales).

So, I guess what I am trying to figure out, is first I should not weigh myself between weekly weigh-ins no matter how tempting, and I should find a way to control my weekend food choices. Right now weekends are my weak point and I am not sure how to deal with it yet, but I will figure this out.

Also, I have lost a total of 22 3/4 pounds in five weeks, and I don't need to be weighed using the special clamp anymore. What a wonderful week this will be.

Until next time, I hope to lose nothing but weight and gain nothing but knowledge.

What change can I make this week?

Well, I am beginning my fourth week with my diet. The first thing I want to mention is that I have lost a total of 12 1/2 pounds.

This past week has had it's ups and downs for me. I had a pretty good week, I got all my water in every day, kept a food journal every day and only had one bad food day. This is an improvement for me because I have been having more than one bad food day in the past weeks.

I was at my diet group last night and I challenged all the members to do one thing different that they don't normally do and that made me think about what I could be doing differently. I have been trying to do one thing different every week.

Last week I joined the YMCA. So, I went Friday night for my first time to swim and just do some general exercising in the water which is so much easier on the joints. I was in the water for 40 minutes and I had to get out after that because I was starting to feel some pain. Let me tell you that when I stepped out of the water I could barely walk. My whole body felt as if it weighed 500 lbs, which I am happy to say is NOT my true weight. While I was in the water it felt nice and a little uncomfortable but getting out I felt pulled muscles in places that I didn't even know existed. Well, I turned around and went to the Y again on Saturday because I felt fairly good and I had went to a workshop for TOPS and I was really pumped up. Saturday I spent an hour in the water and once again I got out and felt the weight of the world, but I decided to try cycling because my son told me that it was super easy. My son is not overweight and he is young, so what made me think I could believe him? Well, I got on the bike and after like 8 minutes I had tears rolling down my cheeks and when I stepped off the bike my legs felt like rubber. I still had to walk to my vehicle. I overdid it on Saturday, so I took Sunday off.

Well, now back to the challenge I gave the other members and what is it can I change this week?

After much thinking I have decided that I am going to have a more positive attitude this week and not give into my emotional eating. That is a huge thing for me. I am doing everything else that I should be doing but I am "Tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires"

I lost 3/4 pounds this week and I was bummed out by this, but after talking to a few of my supporters, I now feel better. I need to look at all the accomplishments I made this past week, I did do my food diary every day (and even won a little award for that), I did get all my water in for the week, I exercised at least three times this week, and last but not least, last night after weigh in when my head told me I wanted to go pig out, I went to the gym and swam for 40 minutes. So, I did have a good week.

So my message is this, it is not always about the weight that is being lost, it is about the new attitude you adopt to become a healthier person.

Until next week, I hope to lose nothing but weight and gain nothing but knowledge.

The joys of losing weight

I never thought that the joys of camping and losing weight could go hand in hand.


First off when you talk about the joys of camping, that is just an oxymoron. It seems like whenever I think about past camping experiences it is always because something has gone wrong. I can't even remember a camping experience where it has all gone through without a hitch. Yet, I still get excited at the prospect of getting away from it all and getting out in nature to do nothing but relax and eat. Well, I usually end up doing one thing and relaxing is not it.


There is just something so magical about eating food cooked over a fire. The fresh air just brings out the joy of eating for me. For someone of my size food is an important factor in my life. So here I am, the thought of hot dogs over the fire, marshmallows, chips, potato and ham packs sauteed in butter, hamburgers; muffins and cakes for breakfast...


Well, I think you can imagine how a gal like me would be in all her glory, but alas...I am on a diet.


What to do, what to do...well knowing that I am going camping I can start planning. Since I am following a certain diet plan where you calculate points I decide that I will save all my extra points for the weekend. Good plan.

Next I start thinking about ways too be able to eat all my favorite foods without all those guilt ridden calories, so I start buying low-cal foods and low-fat foods. The second part of my plan is complete. So far, so good.

Now I am at the campground; I realized a long time ago that when I get stressed out I want to eat, so with that in mind and knowing that every camping excursion has always had some problems rise; it stresses me out.

I want to eat! I don't want to have to write in my food diary, I don't want to have to control my food portions, I don't want to think about the low cal foods while everyone else is eating candy and chips and beef hot dogs. I want this part of my camping adventure to be a pleasant one because lets face it, I have already had to run all over the place trying to get my cabin unlocked; I had to sleep in my car in 30 degree weather because of unpleasant sleeping arrangements and now I want the fun part to come and I want to eat.


Well, I did stick to plan 1 and plan 2 and then I even watched my portions, filled out my food diary and didn't eat the high calorie foods and I am happy to say that I got through the weekend.


Now I am up to Monday and I am at my TOPS group and wondering how I did for the week. I did go over in my weekly points but not by a whole lot. Ohhhhh the anticipation.


I step on the scales, which still has to be altered so I can get weighed, an 'lo and behold I have lost 6 1/4 pounds.


My message I wanted to get out is this...it can be done, with a little planning you can have you camping and eat too.


Have a great week and until next time, I hope to lose nothing but weight and gain nothing but knowledge. (Thanks to Carol B. for that line)

This is more than I bargained for

October 28, 2008


I have been on this diet now for three weeks. It has been a hard thing for me to do, but I finally decided it was time. I was at the doctor's about 2 months ago and she told me that if I didn't lose weight I was going to die. I have never been told that before even though I have been overweight all my adult life. So with the help of my sister and mother, a new TOPS chapter has been started.


TOPS stand for Taking Off Pounds Sensibly. There has to be four people willing to start a chapter, I am one of the founding members.


While I won't reveal my true weight yet, I will tell you that this has been an embarrassing time for me because I am literally too big to weighed in on the scales that the TOPS organization provided so a special clamp had to be bought so that I can be weighed.



So, I started TOPS on October 13, 2008 and then I had my first weigh in on October 20th. I lost 7 1/2 pounds. I had followed an exercise DVD once that week so I felt I had done real well, and my goal for the following week was to increase the exercise to twice that week. This is a DVD that I can follow while sitting down. Even thought I get to sit through it it is still hard for me to do.

On October 27, I had my next weigh in. I gained 2 pounds. Being a part of this particular diet group if you gain weight you have to pay 10 cents per pound. All is not lost though, I did keep to my commitment of exercising twice this past week. My goal for next week is to follow my eating plan and exercise three times for the week. I am off to a good start, so until next time...