Hey everyone, I didn't post last week, but that is okay, we didn't have our downsizing group because we meet in a church and they had Vacation Bible School. I am not sure if you all will want to read my post right now anyways. I try to remain optimistic but darn it sometimes it is hard to be that way.
It is no surprise that I am struggling with my weight. I am not gaining alot but I am not losing alot right now either.
My title that I gave my post this week is making me think. Destiny...what is my destiny? Does anyone know and if they could would they really want to? Sometimes I wonder what my future holds, but I don't dwell on it. I keep thinking that if I turn more towards God then my destiny and reward will be when my life is over here on earth. While that is a great thought, what must I go through until I get to that point? It is hard to turn to God right now, my faith is teetering, which is causing my depression and subsequent feelings of despair. You are probably telling me to suck it up, get over yourself, quit having a pity party for yourself.
I am not feeling these feelings just because I am having a bad day or something isn't going my way. I feel this way because of my medical problems. I am so tired of feeling this way, I have this condition which is embarrassing, demoralizing, and when it is at it's worst is so painful that I can hardly cope. I am at my wit's end, and I am turning wherever I can to find help. I realize I am not alone, I have read many other testimonies about people suffering with the same issues as me and with the same experiences. While it helps to know I am not alone, I don't wish this on anyone. I am trying a new thing soon, I am going with the herbal route. At this point nothing can hurt and from what I am researching, this seems to be helping people in my situation.
Right at this particular point I can't even exercise, normally I am told to stay out of the water, but right now things are so bad that exercise is not advisable. I used to hope to hear those words before but now, I miss not being able to go to the gym.
Downsizing...this can be good or bad. Bad if you are facing this in your job, and while I still have my job and am very fortunate to have it, we are expected to pick up more and help out more because we are short staffed. I have the desire, I am not sure I have the optimum health. Downsizing to lose weight is a good thing, and I am pleased to say that I lost a pound this week.
I am trying harder this week, I am keeping to stricter eating patterns, since I am not exercising.
It will come off one day at a time.
So, enough of my whining, I will be okay. Psalms 28:7 says the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
I am reading this over and over and over and if I believe so shall it be.
Until next week...Gaining should be done only in my knowledge and Losing is the weight I hope to achieve.
2 comments:
Rhonda, even though this sounds on the depressing side, you are being very realistic about things. I am hoping and praying that soon you will discover what is causing your illness and what can be done to get rid of it once and for all. Just don't give up yet. You are still doing good and I feel an answer is close at hand. You are my inspiriation. I love you.
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