What a Feeling!

Well, here it is! I finally made it to my 50 pound goal. It took me 7 months to do it, but I have.

This gives me a bit a time to reflect on this. First off, it has been a long rough struggle, I have felt like giving up on this many times, but I have managed to push through with the help of my friends and family. When I first started I weighed more than I ever thought possible, and I didn't think I would ever get the weight off. Oh, how I remember having to be weighed with a special clamp because the scales would not read over 350 pounds. I think that was the most embarrassing thing I had ever gone through, thank goodness I was being weighed by family. It was embarrassing because someone would have to get weighed and then get weighed again with the clamp on. The difference would be subtracted and then that would be added to what I weighed. When I think back to that it almost makes me want to cry.

I also think about how sick I was ALL the time. I remember my knee was giving me severe problems and at one point I was walking with a walker and usually always a cane. I had a handicap parking permit then (I must admit I sometimes miss that). I was on three different blood pressure meds and the doctors were telling me that it was still uncontrolled and was getting ready to put me on a fourth. I had so many migraines that I was popping Imitrex like it was Tylenol. I had the worst self esteem, I thought I couldn't be useful anywhere because I was so fat that people would either tolerate me or pity me. I was no use to my son, my job, or anything for that matter.

Wow, what a difference a few months can make. No, it isn't the few months, it is the fifty pounds. I am far from having the weight off, it is still a struggle for me, but I don't want to give up. I haven't had to use the clamp since around Christmas. Even though I still have health issues, I am now only taking 2 blood pressure meds and my thyroid meds are being tested because I am taking to much of that. I still have problems with my knee, I just recently fell on my knee and I am sometimes using a cane, but I think it is only temporary. I am exercising more than ever before and even though I am not crazy about it, there is one class that I absolutely love taking at the Y. I will soon be taking this class twice a week. The migraines have gotten better, I don't have as many as I used too. My self esteem is getting better too. What I am doing is very hard work, and I am doing it, that says something. I feel worthwhile, I am having better attendance at work, and I feel like I am not going to keel over any minute and maybe I will see my son get married, hopefully not for a long time yet. I feel like I am a worthwhile person and that I am worth knowing and I don't think people pity me... tolerate me, maybe, pity me, no.

I have come a long way baby!

I can't wait till I can tell you all I have lost 100 pounds, it will happen before this year is out, I promise!

So until next week, I hope to gain nothing but knowledge and lose nothing but weight!