Well, how can I start out this week, after last week's post of gaining 10 pounds? How about I lost 6 1/2 pounds this week. I know not the 10 I gained is off, but I made a great effort.So, this past week was Memorial Day and our family had a cookout and that is the whole reason for the picture.
I am still having extreme problems with my knees, I don't know when the problem will take care of itself or if I need to finally have surgery to take care of it, but this is enough to drive me into depression.
Anyways, I decided to try and climb a slide of this size and lo and behold I am scared of heights, so as I am climbing with my bad knees halfway up the steps, I have a panic attack. Instead of heading back down, I went the rest of the way up and unlike the top of this slide there was a space at the top of the slide that was more or less enclosed all the way around and I got stuck in that area. I am too big to fit there. I could not maneuver myself to try and come down the slide and at this point the panic attack is in full force and I am feeling like I am going to die. I finally managed to get down by coming down the steps but I was really scared because I was really wedged into that area. There is one more reason for me to feel disgusted by my weight, but we figured out that when I get 50 more pounds off I should be able to go down the slide. Now whether or not I will is a whole different matter. It was a fairly good week for me and I am still on track so here's hoping...
So until next week I hope to gain nothing but knowledge and lose nothing but weight.
4 comments:
Rhonda, I think a lot of your fears will diminish as you start to lose more weight.
I was scared to death of getting on a bike again after 20 years, but I did it, and now I feel like I can do so much more!
Keep pushing yourself to do things that you are not sure you can. It's very empowering!
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Girl, you are going to OWN that slide! The only thing that can stop you you from dropping the next 50 lbs. is giving up... keep up the good work!
- Michael
Even though you did not conquer the slide this time, don't give up. Next time, you and I will do it together. We had such a good fun time at the cook out and it was so nice to have all my kids and most of my grandkids there. Let's try for the end of the summer and see how we can do. I love you.
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